Anaconda

Creature feature! I think the 90s was kind of the explosion of “but what if big animal.” We dreamt up the terrifying concept of ANIMALS but BIG. Lake Placid, Anaconda, Deep Blue Sea, etc. There’s nothing wrong with this concept per se, but it’s really not much of a concept for horror. It’s tough to get into a headspace of finding Anaconda scary since most people will never visit the Amazon river in the first place, not to mention they’ll never see a 50ft anaconda.

The suspension of disbelief required for 90s horror is pretty steep honestly, and if I were to watch this movie for the first time nowadays, it probably wouldn’t get a good review. But I watched it when I was very young (like most other 99/00s horror movies) so I will always have a soft spot for it. The sound design is pretty bad, but the practical effects are awesome. The CG didn’t age well, but them’s the breaks unfortunately.

The acting is pretty sub-par too, mostly relying on star-power to try and sell tickets. Ice Cube is in this movie about giant snakes. Who wouldn’t pay to see that in 99? It’s honestly a dumb fun concept, but I’d say it works out. After all, we gotta see big snake do big snake shit!

The plot really devolves quickly as it is simply an excuse for people to fight big snake and Jon Voight. I’ll say that Jon Voight does a good job being a huge creep, and the premise is great, but the movie doesn’t do much to distinguish itself beyond that. Maybe that’s part of being of its time, but it’s super unfortunate in my eyes, as it could’ve done much more to draw the watcher in. But since it’s barely a horror I’d say it’s passable.

Definitely watch this movie if you enjoy any other creature feature, but be warned: Jon Voights character will probably make you vomit like 10 times. Outside of that, it’s a terrible movie and I love it.

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